Anti Four-Square

At church on Sunday mornings there's random pieces of play time built into the children's schedule. We have 8:15 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. Children's Church, then 30 minutes of play time for families to come and go. 9:30 to 10:30 Sunday School. Then 45 minutes of play time for families to arrive or leave before Children's Church starts again at 11:15 a.m. Basically, the people in charge of making the church schedule wanted to be as accommodating as possible, which means we have to have LOTS of unstructured flexible time.

Kids + Children's Church or Sunday School = Happy Kirby
Kids + Unstructured Time = Insane Agitated Crazy-Eyes Kirby


During play time we have Kindergarteners through 5th graders all together in one room, the fellowship hall. It's a tile floored room about the size of a small gymnasium. We have toys and crafts stations set up everywhere, and the kids love playing with Legos, coloring books, marble run, etc. About fifty kids entertain themselves happily with these calm stationary activities.

Except there's also a four-square court and a playground ball. It is the bane of my existence. About twenty kids are lined up to get in the game at all times. It makes big kids yell and argue. It makes little kids cry. It makes the teenage "helpers" act like whiney little brats. It makes the entire room loud and competitive and puts all the adult chaperones on edge. They kids are constantly making up new rules, yelling that they're not out, begging for a "redo," and taunting each other. Oh man it is the WORST.

Last week my boss was out of town and I did the selfish thing and just didn't put the four square ball out. I had at least ten kids come ask me for the four square ball and I said, "No four-square today. Find a board game to play instead." I was prepared for the worst. I was prepared for tantrums and fits. I was prepared for that certain one sneaky kid to go behind my back and pull the ball out of the closet. But. It worked. Nobody gave me more than just a little but of attitude. Even the competitive older boys played checkers calmly. Checkers. Checkers. I was so happy I could float away on a cloud. I taught some kids how to play Jenga and they were very terrible at it but they loved it. A bunch of Kindergarten girls convinced a third grade boy to come be the spinner for Twister. A day without four-square is a day miracles happen.

Today was Sunday again, and my boss was back in town, and I suggested we take away the four square ball. She compromised and we only brought out the ball for half the time.  For twenty glorious minutes, I actually got to sit down on the ground and play Battleship against a couple of the usual overly competitive four square players.

This goes to show: four square is the worst game to play indoors, especially with such a wide age range of kiddos, and it should be banned from churches worldwide.